Use. Your. Brain.

"Dear Tenants,

Per your lease agreement, pets are not allowed in your apartment or on the property. This includes cats, dogs and any animal not constantly in a cage. Please let us know if you have any questions."

Never again will I put "Let us know if you have any questions"

In the future it will read "This is self explanatory. Any confusion on the matter is a result of stupidity. Please do not ask us questions, especially if they are worded somewhat like this:

"I have a tortoise but he's always in his cage, is that alright?"

Seriously? Come on guys, use your brain!

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"Dear Tenants,

You have one assigned parking spot and MUST have a sticker to park in it. Please inform your visitors that they must park on the street, or their vehicle will be towed."

*Knock Knock*

"My car was towed! Will you call and tell them that it was ok to be there so I can get it back without having to pay anything?"

"Was there a sticker in your window?

"No but I wasn't aware of the rule!"

"We spoke with someone who was standing by your vehicle and told him he could park in the back as long as there was a sticker"

"I don't know who that was. No one told me that"

"Well, you're not a tenant and there are signs at both entrances and someone that was hanging out with you that lives here should have known the rule."

"Can I get a sticker then?"

"No you don't even live here"

"Blah blah blah...Blah blah...whine...complain...Blah blah blah blah blah..."

"I do not care."